“When are you having another baby?”
“Your son needs a sibling.”
“You can’t possibly leave your child alone in this world without a little sister or brother!”
“What are you going to tell him when he asks you for siblings?”
These are statements that I hear quite often. Too often if you ask me! In this past week I have answered these same questions at least four times, all in different circumstances, and situations. Although, the questions are well-intended, they are getting annoying. Especially now that our precious little angel turned 7 years old this past summer.
There was a time in my life that I dreamt of having a large family with a minimum of three kids. However, my husband and I met later in life; and we became “older” parents. Our friends, extended-family, and even my siblings have grown children! Some of them are even grandparents! They talk about their kids working, going off to college, dating, and getting married. While we were focusing on a good day care, and changing diapers!
Even when I was pregnant, I thought of the possibility of having another child. Hubby wasn’t completely convinced, and I didn’t push the subject. I was so blessed to have a good pregnancy, considering I was high-risk pregnancy to start with.
Then our bundle of joy was born, and we were immersed in the joys of raising our baby. Little one grew, and became more independent! He was potty trained, and diaper-free! Yay!!! And the thought of starting all over again (with another pregnancy) was slowly being pushed to the back of my mind.
With that being said, my answer to the questions above are: “No, we are not planning on having any more babies. No, my son doesn’t need a sibling because you say so. No, I am not leaving him alone in this world. He has family, cousins, and friends.”
During all these years, our child has never ever questioned not having a sibling. So the last question, I never really gave it much thought.
To be quite honest I was a bit thrown off by his question: “Mami, why don’t I have a sister or brother, and how did we become a family?”
I said to him, “When your Daddy and I met we fell in love, and got married. Then we found out we were having a baby!”
He responds, “Me?”
I tell him, “Yes! We were so happy and we loved you from the day we knew you were going to be our baby. When you were born you were a sweet little baby, and we knew then that you were all we ever needed!”
He smiled, and gave me a hug! Of course, I added that although he didn’t have any siblings he had cousins, and lots of friends!
He’s happy with the answer to his questions, and I wholeheartedly believe that he never really “misses” having a sibling because he’s grown-up with some amazing friends. There have been countless playdates, parties, gatherings, and outings with friends. He has quite the “social” life! He’s active in sports, and we have many extracurricular activities together as a family. He also has a relationship with his extended family even from a distance he knows they are there for him.
He’s a happy well-rounded little boy, and he’s our one and only. Truth be told we wouldn’t have it any other way!